No One Likes A Depressed Cohen
by SethCohenFan
Summary: Seth leaves, and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving? How can changes change her life, for the better or worse? Summer POV CHAPTER 9!
1. Sethless

**Title: No One Likes A Depressed Cohen   
**  
**Author:** SethCohenFan  
  
**Rating**: PG  
  
**Summary**: One Shot. Seth leaves, and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving. SS  
  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own the OC... Josh Schwartz does.  
  
**A/n:** This is my answer to a challenge on a FF board... I hope that you enjoy.  
  
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Cohen seemed depressed. Why shouldn't he be? Ryan left to go back to Chino, he blew up at Marissa. He seemed so down, looking out blankly like that. I really hope that he is all right.  
  
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_"Believe me, if there was something I could do, I would," sighed Marissa.  
  
"Yeah well, I think you've done enough, so..." said Seth. What the hell was he thinking. Ryan was leaving and he was picking a fight with Marissa.  
  
"What does that mean?" snapped Marissa.  
  
"I just don't even think Ryan would be back with Theresa if it wasn't for you and Oliver in the first place-"explained Seth. He was going way to far.  
  
"Cohen," I pleaded, as if just saying his name would make him stop.  
  
"Right. And all you ever did was use him to meet girls and get out of fights." snapped Marissa.  
  
This was going waaaaaay too far. "Okay you guys, come on." Since when did I play mediator.  
  
"You know, I don't really care. I gotta get ready. So as long as you're cool with him leaving-"he never finished his sentence as he got up to walk away. Get Ready? Get ready for what? COHEN!!!  
_  
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I couldn't help but feel bad for him.  
  
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_"You can still see him, you know. Chino isn't that far away." I said, trying to get him to at least smile. He seemed so preoccupied, so lost in his own world. He looked so lost, so sad.  
  
"I just can't believe he's leaving. The first real friend I ever had. The only real friend I ever had." he said. It looked as if he was about to cry.  
  
Could Chino leaving actually be affecting him that badly? "No..." I said quietly, trying to get him out of this depressive slump. "You have me."  
  
His reaction was anything except what I expected. "Yeah, but that's not the same thing," he said, looking out at the water before turning back to me again. "You don't get it. Before he got here, I was the biggest loser. This place was hell for me, okay? And I can't help him and I just... I can't even imagine what it's gonna be like without him."  
  
I wanted more than anything to just hug him right there. Everything was going to be alright. Ryan leaving wasn't the end of the world, was it? "We'll make it through this, I promise," I said soothingly.  
  
He didn't respond for the longest time. "Could you tell them I'll be back in a few minutes please?" he asked. He really did want to be alone, didn't he?  
  
"Sure," I said quietly, getting up to leave. I was almost gone when he stopped me.  
  
"And just for the record... the boat was named after you." I didn't know what to say, what to do. I didn't know anything. So what did I do? The stupidest thing I could possibly ever do. I walked away.  
_  
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Of all people, why did I have to fall in love with Cohen? Like he said, he was a loser, right? I stared up at the ceiling of my room. Before Ryan ever came I probably wouldn't have been here, I would be out doing something.  
  
The thoughts of what Cohen had said before rang through my head. _"I gotta get ready. I gotta get ready.... The boat was named after you... you..."  
_  
Shit! That isn't good. I simply put two and two together. Seth, getting ready, boat. Seth, boat, leave. I got up quickly and ran quickly down the steps, nearly falling down them. I think I made record time from my room to my car. Sure there was a chance of falling and breaking every bone in my body... but Seth.  
  
The engine turned over and I stepped on the gas. I had to get to the dock, and fast.  
  
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Sure I could've gone to his house first, to see if he was there before jumping to conclusions. But if Seth really was leaving, then... Oh God, I couldn't even think about it.  
  
Almost there. I could see the rows of boats all lined up neatly. Suddenly, I was there.  
  
I turned the ignition off and got out of the car in one fluid, but fast step. I couldn't help but have his horrible feeling swelling in the pit of my stomach. Had it really been only yesterday that we had been here, together. Yes, but it seemed like it was so long ago.  
  
Luckily, I remembered where Seth's boat was, and got there.  
  
_"And just for the record, the boat was named after you..."_ I ran as quickly as I could to the place where the boat was supposed to be.  
  
When I got there, I was surprised that I didn't burst into tears, right there. Empty, nothing. There was nothing there. Nothing there except for water, water and the boats that were around Seth's. There was nothing there. I felt this unexplainable sorrow and hatred fill me.  
  
How could he do that? How could he just up and leave... for God-knows-where? "COHEN!!!!!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, hoping that maybe he could ear my cry.  
  
There was no response. "COHEN!!!" I shouted again. This time, I heard an answer, but it wasn't Seth.  
  
A man walked over to me. "May I help you miss?" he asked.  
  
I took a deep breath in, trying to calm myself down before answering. "Yes. There is supposed to be a boat here, owned by Seth Cohen. Have you seen him?" Wait, did I just say him?  
  
"Oh, Seth," the man said. My heart jumped. Maybe he knew where Cohen was. "He left, about ten minutes ago. Seemed awfully urgent to leave... sad and brokenhearted like maybe. You must have just missed him."  
  
My hears sunk. He had left. I felt a stray tear fall down my cheek. "Did he say anything to you?" I asked, trying not to sound as upset as I really was.  
  
The man shook his head. "But he did have a bag with him. He seemed to be going somewhere."  
  
I felt like falling to the dock and just sobbing, but no, I wouldn't cry, I couldn't cry, not yet. "Thank you," I choked, the emotion beginning to come out.  
  
"No problem, miss," he said. He obviously though that I needed some alone time because with that, he turned around and left.  
  
I looked out at the open water, "DAMN YOU COHEN!!" I shouted. I continued to stare out at the water in silence for the longest time, tears falling freely, before leaving the dock and heading back to my car.  
  
I slowly got in, the exact opposite of the way I had arrived and the tears continued falling. First Ryan and now Seth. Could he really have left? There had to be some kind of explanation, right? Kirsten & Sandy wouldn't have just let Seth run away like that. I had to go and talk to them.  
  
I turned the key and the engine turned over and I left to go to the Cohen's house, tears still falling.  
  
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I pulled into the Cohen's driveway and dried my tears before getting out. Trying to stay calm, I walked up and rang the doorbell. I stood there for a long time before Sandy answered. Just looking at Sandy reminded me so much of Seth that tears began to well up in my eyes. I didn't know what came over me, but I hugged him almost immediately as he opened the door. I think Sandy was a bit shocked, but it was somewhat comforting when he returned the hug.  
  
Pulling away from the hug, Sandy said, "Seth is upstairs." Wait, didn't they know? They couldn't have known if Sandy still thought Seth was in his room. But there was a small part of me that still held hope that Seth really was just in his room and that he had sold the boat. Yet the words of the man at the dock rang clearly in my head. _"You must have just missed him."  
_  
I nodded, but said nothing, and headed up to Seth's room.  
  
When I got there, I almost didn't want to open the door. The house was eerily silent and the door creaked when I finally did open it. "Seth?" I asked quietly as my voice cracked.  
  
I got no response and walked in. I found that the room was empty. EMPTY! Empty, just like the space where his boat should have been, and just like my heart would be if he really had left.  
  
Refusing to cry, I walked around the vacant room looking for any sign of Seth. Nothing. The room looked exactly the same as it always did, except for the fact that it was Sethless.  
  
I sat down on his bed, ready to cry when I spotted two envelopes sitting on the desk by Captain Oats.  
  
My heart sank, if possible, even further. One of them was addressed to me, the other to his parents.  
  
Grabbing the one that had my name on it, I opened it slowly and pulled out a piece of paper. I recognized the handwriting as being Seth's right away, except that it was shaky, like he was upset while writing it.  
  
As I read it, tears well up in my eyes, and before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably.  
  
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_Summer,  
  
Hey, if you're reading this, I'm probably on my way to Tahiti right now. Just as a first thought, this isn't your fault at all. With Ryan gone and Marissa hating me, it won't be that long before things go back to the way they were before Ryan came. It won't be long before you think of me as a loser again.  
  
I had the greatest time with you, and I really do think I love you, but I had to go. You just wouldn't understand. I need to get away from Newport, before I kill Marissa. It's all her fault that Ryan left, and I really think that I hate her.  
  
Maybe I'll come back, maybe I won't. I heard that Tahiti is great this time of year. Apologize to Marissa for me, even though I still am mad at her, she has enough to deal with right now.  
  
Leaving is the best thing for me. Besides, no one likes a depressed Cohen.  
  
Love,  
  
Seth  
_  
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I know it sounds weird, but it was almost as if I could hear Cohen reading the note, like he was standing right next to me. I sniffled and looked at the plastic horse. Had he really left? No he couldn't have. I grabbed the hoarse and began sobbing again.  
  
He really was gone. He really had left. I felt so horrible, so empty, and he was right, it was all Coop's fault.  
  
"I love you Cohen," I said between sobs. "I really do."  
  
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**A/n:** That is it. I hope that you liked it. If you did, please review. 


	2. Then There Were Two

**Title: No One Likes a Depressed Cohen  
**  
**Author**: SethCohenFan  
  
**Rating**: PG for now  
  
**Summary**: Seth left and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving? RS  
  
**Disclaimer**: I'm working on it... a girl needs time ya know! Oh yes, I forgot (this is for you Ali) I got the title from an line in a story that my friend was writing. The song "Follow Me" belongs to Uncle Kracker and the song "Yesterday" belongs to the Beatles.  
  
**A/n:** I can't believe that you people talked me into this! I am juggling three fics (two with WB) and a script... AHHHHHH!! But I love you guys, ha ha! Enjoy... Oh yes, I also believe that this is going to go along the lines of a RyanSummerSeth triangle fic instead... ha ha.  
  
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**Part 2:** Then There Were Two  
  
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I don't know how long I laid there, but time seemed to be ticking so slowly. Cohen was really gone, and heading to Tahiti? Tahiti? Was he trying to get himself killed?  
  
My eyes closed, this couldn't be real, and this couldn't be happening could it? Seth Cohen didn't just run away... without telling anyone about it. It was just so unSethlike.  
  
I took a shaky breath in and lifted my head up off of Cohen's bed, sitting up and drying my tears. Kirsten and Sandy still didn't know that Seth had left and they really needed to know.  
  
That was when I heard a knock on the door. "Seth? Summer?" came Sandy's voice. He didn't sound all that upset. "I have pudding..."  
  
If the situation had been different, I would have laughed, but the ability to laugh had been wiped out of me. "Sandy," I said, my voice sounding a lot calmer than I felt, "I- I, I think you better come in here..."  
  
The door opened, "What is it Summer?" he asked, walking in. I think it took him less than a second to realize that Seth wasn't there. The look in his eyes explained exactly what was going on inside of his head.  
  
He looked at me and his eyes wandered around the room, finally resting on the letter. As if in slow motion, he slowly moved his hand over to the note and opened. If he was felling any emotion, he hid if awfully well. But once he finished it, a look of anger quickly flashed across his face, disappearing as soon as it appeared. It was replaced with one of worry.  
  
"KIRSTEN!!" he shouted before sitting down on the bed next to me. I could tell that he didn't know what to do. Both of his sons had left in the span of a few hours, and having Julie Co- well Nichol now, in your family was hell enough.  
  
When Kirsten walked in, I felt the tears creeping back into my eyes. Kirsten looked like she was a mess, an utter mess. Her eyes were all red from crying and she had the look of a lost child in her eyes.  
  
Sandy got up and walked over to her. "Where's Seth?" she asked, her voice cracking.  
  
"He left," answered Sandy simply. I don't know if it was only because he didn't know what else to say or if that was all he could say.  
  
"Left?" she asked, some anger audible in her voice. "Left? What do you mean he left?"  
  
Sandy put a comforting arm around Kirsten. "He left, claiming to be going to Tahiti. TAHITI!" he explained, getting a bit upset when he repeated the word Tahiti. The look on Kirsten's face was one that I knew I would never see again in my life. To explain it would have been impossible.  
  
"Ta-Tahiti?" she choked. Sandy nodded and Kirsten began sobbing on his shoulder. How could Seth have done something so idiotic? Something so stupid like that? Didn't he think that his parents were upset enough about Ryan leaving?  
  
Sandy nodded. I felt so out of place. There was really no reason for me to be crying, was there? Just looking at Sandy and Kirsten told me that. Ryan left to go back to Chino... Julie became a member of their family... Seth ran away. That had to be hard. And then for all of it to happen in one day was even worse.  
  
With Captain Oats still in my hand, I got up off of Seth's bed. I didn't know what to say, but I felt as if I had to say something. "We'll find Seth, and he'll be okay." I said. It was more of a reassurance to me than anything else.  
  
Kirsten broke away from Sandy and wiped the tears from her eyes. According to Seth, she had never been much of a hugger, but she walked over and hugged me. And it wasn't the hug that friends give each other or one that meant 'Oh, I like feel so bad for you', but a hug that I could tell had motherly intentions behind it. The type of hug I hadn't felt in a while.  
  
As much as I didn't want to, I pulled away from Kirsten. "I'll just go home," I said quietly, heading towards the door. I would have made it too, if it hadn't been for Sandy stopping me.  
  
"Nonsense," he said, "You should stay here." I didn't really want to go... but I didn't want to stay either.  
  
"I couldn't Mr. Cohen," I said quickly and quietly.  
  
"Please," he asked. I couldn't say no, so I nodded. I turned to Kirsten, who was still sitting on Seth's bed. I sat down.  
  
Sandy mouthed a 'thank you' that I knew Kirsten didn't see, before turning and leaving Seth's room.  
  
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Days passed slowly. Even with the help of officials, there was no sign of Seth at all. I went out on the search boat with Sandy a few times, but there was nothing. Everyone seemed to have gotten past crying, and now were just worried.  
  
I had barely gone home since Seth ran away, spending a lot of time with Sandy and Kirsten. I tried so hard during those long days that I should hate Seth for what he was doing, what he did. Maybe he was an ass for leaving, a big ass for leaving, but I couldn't hate him, it just... it wasn't possible. A part of me thought that the search was pointless. He had gone on a suicide mission across the Pacific Ocean... and there was no point... he could be anywhere. Hell he could be dead.  
  
As quickly as that thought entered my head, I pushed it out. Cohen wasn't dead. No. He was just fine, being an ass hole, but fine.  
  
It had been almost a week since it had happened, and I think I went home twice. There was something about being in Cohen's house, something like a reassurance, I guess.  
  
"Do you want to go shopping?" Kirsten asked me one day. That had been strange. The house was deafeningly quiet since Sandy had driven to Chino to pick Ryan up.  
  
What kind of question was that? Shopping, or sitting around, doing nothing and moping? The answer was obvious. After a few seconds of processing, "Yes."  
  
For the first time in six day, I saw a smile break out across Kirsten's face.  
  
We spent the rest of the day shopping. We went everywhere... looking for everything. Sure it was a well needed break from worrying, but it didn't push it away. Not even for the time we were shopping.  
  
The excursion seemed to do Kirsten a world of good. She pulled the car up into the driveway. "Looks like Sandy's home," she commented. If Sandy was home, that meant that there was a good chance that Ryan was home too.  
  
Not really knowing what else to do, I nodded. We were going back to the real world. Back from the world where everything seemed normal. I got out of the car, grabbing the bag that held all the crap I had bought. One bag. It must have been a new record or something.  
  
I waited for Kirsten before going into the house. She got out of the car and we went into the house. Would Chino blame himself? Would he be his normal, brooding self, which in this case, could be a welcomed thing?  
  
Once we got in the house, we were greeted by Sandy. He looked at me, and it was as if he was reading my mind. "Ryan's in the pool house,":  
  
I thanked him and left to go to the pool house. I guess I was excited that Ryan was home. It made things seem one step closer to normal. Marissa had confined herself to the new house, and I hadn't seen her since the wedding. She even refused to pick up her phone. I wondered if she even knew that Seth was gone.  
  
Once I reached the door of the pool house, I stopped. I didn't know whether or not to go in. Maybe he needed some alone time.  
  
Before I could decide to do anything, Ryan opened the door. I laughed quietly; he donned his normal wife beater... some things never changed. He looked as if nothing was wrong. I didn't know what I was thinking, but before I knew it, I had Ryan in a tight hug. "Oh Chino!" He didn't know how much normaller his coming home had made everything.  
  
To my surprise, Ryan returned the hug. He never struck me as being a hugging person. He probably just felt sorry for me. "You all right Summer?"  
  
How the hell was I supposed to answer that? Of course I'm not all right. Seth just like disappeared, not caring at all. "I'm better now," I answered. As much as I didn't want to admit it, him coming home was the greatest thing to happen since before the wedding. Ryan broke away from the hug, and a small part of me was a bit upset.  
  
Things were silent for some time. There was just nothing to say. What kind of conversation would it be if it were all: 'Hey Summer,' 'Hi Ryan,' 'So Seth's gone,' 'Yep.'  
  
It was Ryan who broke the silence. "Have you talked to Marissa?" Coop... of course, that was what was on his mind.  
  
I shook my head, "She isn't talking to anyone,"  
  
"Oh."  
  
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Ryan never did go back to Chino, Sandy made sure of that. I was right. When Ryan came back, things became a bit more normal. Coop actually left the house, but it wasn't often, and she wasn't the same person as she was before.  
  
That left the two of us. Me and Chino. Chino and I. Kinda weird, right? I mean normally, when a person thinks of Ryan, they think of Marissa, not Summer. It was like Chino and I were dating or anything, but I am really starting to begin to see why Marissa liked Ryan.  
  
The two of us tried to salvage the wreckage that was previously the summer that had crashed and burned. A lot of times, things got awkward. Most of the time things were awkward.  
  
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Summer came and went, still with no news from Seth. I tried to keep an optimistic outlook, but even I had to admit that things weren't looking good for Seth.  
  
Kirsten was still a mess; she seemed to have herself convinced that Seth wasn't even alive anymore. Sandy had his plate full; he was still looking for Seth, refusing to give up until he found one of two things.  
  
Going back to school was a welcomed thing, or so I thought. It was about a week before school when I walked into the Crab Shack. I was supposed to be meeting Coop and Chino there in a few minutes. When I got there, they were already sitting at a table, and Marissa was crying. What the hell?  
  
"You can move in with us," said Ryan. I must have missed something.  
  
"No Ryan, I can't. I can't change their minds. I tried," she said.  
  
"But-"  
  
"I have to go. CayCay and his little JuJu wanted some 'time alone'," she said, rolling her eyes, "I'm leaving tomorrow."  
  
TOMORROW?! How could this be happening? What was with everyone leaving? And why didn't she tell me? We were best friends before... before Seth left. Damn, he was just ruining everything wasn't he?  
  
"Are you going to tell Summer?" Ryan asked. He seemed almost too calm.  
  
"As soon as she gets here."  
  
I figured that now was a better time than any to enter the conversation. Pretending that I hadn't just heard the entire conversation, I walked past the table, before looking over at them. "Oh hey, guys," I said, plastering on a fake smile, that over the summer, I had gotten quite perfected. "Coop, what's wrong?"  
  
I could tell that she didn't want to say anything, like she was having an internal battle with herself. "I'm leaving Summer," she said quietly, her voice barely audible. "They're sending me to a boarding school, in Florida."  
  
Even though I knew that she was leaving, I thought that she was going to stay in the area. This was all just too much to handle. "You too," I asked, my voice barely a squeak.  
  
She nodded and leaned over to hug me, but I didn't let her. I just couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't be leaving. I got up to leave.  
  
"Summer, wait!" she said, looking as if she was going to get up and stop me.  
  
"Have fun in Florida, and Seth says he's sorry..." I said, leaving the Crab Shack, holding back the tears.  
  
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I got home and I cried again. I cried because of Marissa, I cried because of Seth. Why did everything have to be so screwed up? As usual my dad wasn't home, but I didn't need him to bug me.  
  
My room was adorned in pictures of Seth alone, of Seth and Ryan, of me and Seth, of Marissa and Ryan. Ryan coming was one of the best things to happen, and then everything went downhill.  
  
Everybody was leaving. First Anna, then Luke. They were easy enough to get over, but when Ryan left and Seth ran away... God, I wanted to hurt something. But Ryan came back, and things got bearable. Now Marissa was leaving, and I was losing it.  
  
The four of us used to hang all the time. Ryan and Marissa... me and Seth. Now that was all screwed up. It was down to just the two of us... me and Ryan. Ryan and I, and a part of me couldn't handle that.  
  
I hated Newport. I hated Seth and I hated Marissa. I hated all of them. Every last one of them.  
  
The radio switched on:  
  
_"You don't know how you met me,   
You don't know why   
You can't turn around and say good-bye.   
All you know is when I'm with you,   
I make you free,   
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea.  
  
I'm singing;   
follow me everything is all right,   
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night,  
And if you want to leave,  
I can guarantee,   
You won't find nobody else like me."_  
  
I turned it off and my hand knocked Captain Oats from the table to the floor. I picked him up. Could that song be an idea? I could take a plane to Tahiti to go to Seth, run away from Newport, just like he did. But every bone in my body knew that Seth couldn't make it to Tahiti, it was just impossible.  
  
A knock on my door snapped me out of my daze. Dad couldn't be home yet, could he? I looked at the alarm clock. No, he wasn't home yet, it was someone else. "Come in," I said meekly.  
  
Ryan opened the door. "Summer..."  
  
"Go away Chino," I said, curling up and turning away from him.  
  
He sat down on my bed and put his hand on my shoulder. I pushed it off. "Go away Chino," I repeated. He didn't leave.  
  
"Don't take it out on yourself," he said. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Then I realized, he was right. I turned to look at him. Captain Oats was still in my hand, but not for long. I set him down.  
  
"Ryan..." I said quietly, before losing it and breaking down in tears on his shoulder. This wasn't the first time that Ryan had put up with my crying, hell, it wasn't even the second time. He wrapped his arms around me as I continued sobbing.  
  
"They're all leaving us Ryan. They're all leaving," I sobbed.  
  
I didn't hear Ryan respond and I continued sobbing. "Anna... Luke... Seth... Marissa... They're all gone. They all left."  
  
I knew that Ryan felt the same way I did, he had to have been. Everything in Newport was so screwed up. The radio switched on again:  
  
_"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far,   
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.   
Oh I believe in yesterday...  
  
Suddenly,   
I'm not half the man I used to be,   
They're a shadow hanging over me,   
Oh yesterday came suddenly,   
Why she had to go,   
I don't' know she wouldn't say,   
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday...  
  
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play,   
Now I need place to hide away,   
Oh I believe in yesterday..   
Why she had to go,   
I don't know, she wouldn't say,   
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday...  
  
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play,   
Now I need a place to hide away,   
Oh I believe in yesterday,   
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm..."_  
  
I fell asleep crying in Ryan's arms. I know I hadn't gotten much sleep since Seth left, and Ryan was just so... comforting.  
  
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**A/n:** Alright, I may continue, I may not.. this is the second WB fic I wrote... I can't afford anymore! Ha ha! dances No more Marissa... no more Marissa! Now push that little review button in the bottom corner. HA HA!!! Of next chapter will be called either "The Worst Chrismukkah Ever" or "Nightmares Alive" I haven't decided yet...  
  
BabyBash: I don't know how far I am going to take this... but I'm glad that you liked it.  
mintee: I know... but open ended endings are the best there are, they leave room for speculation.. which is great!!!  
The House: Thanks!  
Amy: Thanks. Next season... too far away.  
Summer and Seth: It is sad... it made me sad to write, but I may add more...  
HOTTERTHNU: Sweet and sappy, exactly how I hated it... ha ha! I can't stand romantic crap like that, but it turned out good that way...  
fanficgirl1: I actually love writing a depressed Cohen, but that is just me. Ha ha! Thanks!  
Emily: Three word explanation: I HATE MARISSA!!! Well, hate is a very strong word, I just haven't liked her at all, and there is just something about her. I can't explain it.  
benzbabidoll – Thanks! :D  
TragicallyDepressed – Sorry... but I am writing more...


	3. And When We Thought Things Couldn’t Get ...

**Title: No One Likes A Depressed Cohen**  
  
**Author**: SethCohenFan  
  
**Rating**: PG  
  
**Summary**:  
  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own the OC... Josh Schwartz does.  
  
**A/n:** Yeah... the stupid lines between the sections are screwed up... so I must change them...  
  
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**Part 3:** And When We Thought Things Couldn't Get Worse  
  
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School went as normal as it could be. Ryan and I tried to make the best out of our Senior Year. But everything was just so screwed up. No matter how hard I tried to make things like they were before, they never were.  
  
What irked me the most was that no one seemed to care that Cohen was gone. Hell, no one even seemed to notice that he was gone. I mean, even if he was a loser and no one liked him, they should have at least noticed that he hadn't been around at all!  
  
Mr. Berman's class was by far the worst class that I had ever had. To begin with, creative writing wasn't my strong point, but the worst part was that Mr. Berman was old, and possibly going senile. Everyday... every freaking day... he called Seth's name when he took roll, and nobody seemed to notice that each time I had to tell him that Seth wasn't there or he would just continue to call his name. Each time I told him, he thanked me and proceeded to continue with roll.  
  
It was three weeks into school when he gave us the horrible assignment. In his horribly drone-like monotone voice he announced, "Today, we will begin a new assignment." The entire class groaned. "Oh shut up! Now as I was saying, the assignment will be a look into your soul."  
  
That was just great, another way to have my heart torn out and crushed.  
  
"Everyone close your eyes." With a lot of protest from the class, we all closed our eyes, or at least I did.  
  
"Good. Now pretend that we have developed a time machine in our very school, and you are the one chosen to test it out. Now don't write about how stoked you are about being able to travel back in time, merely when and where you would go. You are allowed to change one thing, and one thing only. You must write a story or essay about going back in time and changing it, but you must say why and what the overall affect it has on life when you came back. You have a week to write it and then everyone will present to the class. You may start now."  
  
I opened my eyes and looked around. Many people had already started to write. I dug back in my thoughts. If I could change one thing... any one thing...  
  
The first thought that came into my mind was going back and stopping Cohen from being an ass in the first place and leaving. Then this year wouldn't suck so much and I would have someone to talk to in this stupid class!  
  
Or, I cold go and make it so that Ryan never stole that car and therefore never came here, making it that I never knew Seth... but then I would have never met Ryan...  
  
Once again, I looked around. A lot of people were writing like crazy. A glance at the clock, then at the blank paper told me that I had wasted a lot of time. I had five minutes to just get started.  
  
I started writing some random thoughts on my paper. The person in front of me turned around and looked at my paper. "Roberts, Roberts, Roberts..." he said. "You are unbelievable." Josh Harton, the biggest jerk in the school, and unfortunately, one of my ex-boyfriends.  
  
"When will you learn that that queer disappearing was the best thing to happen to you?" So they DID know, they just didn't give a shit! That made my blood boil even more. "Things can go back to the way before it happened. Back to you and me, ya know?"  
  
I held myself back. Was that all he wanted was to be back with me? What an asshole! The bell rang.  
  
"Forget about him Roberts, he obviously doesn't care about you!"  
  
With that comment, I lost it. I didn't care how much trouble I got into, I aimed a punch directly at his face. He blocked it with ease. "Violence, violence Roberts," he said, now twisting my arm.  
  
The room was empty, and there was no one there to help me. I cried out in pain. "Stop it Josh!" I pleaded, trying to pull my arm away.  
  
"Why? I was just starting to have fun," he said, continuing to twist my arm. I fell to the ground and the pain was temporarily relieved. I tried to punch him as he pulled me back up, but he only grabbed my other arm and twisted it.  
  
"HELP!!" I shouted, but the door was closed.  
  
"Awwww, poor Roberts," Josh mocked. He let go of my other arm and it fell limply to my side, useless.  
  
I kicked him, hard. "Ooo, getting feisty, aren't we?" he asked, flashing a menacing smile. How could he still be smiling, was he drunk or something?"  
  
I didn't know what to do. He leaned in as if he was going to try and kiss me. "JOSH!! STOP!!" I shouted, using all of the strength in my bad arm to try and punch him. It didn't hurt him, but it sure hurt me.  
  
The door to the room opened and who would walk in but Ryan. "Mr. Berman?" he asked.  
  
"CHINO!!" I shouted quickly. Ryan turned around to look at me and Josh.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" he snapped?" Josh let go of me and turned to look at Ryan.  
  
"No of your God damned business." Josh snapped, heading to push pat Ryan at the door. Ryan grabbed his arm and stopped him from running off.  
  
"Now tell me," Ryan said angrily, "What were you doing to Summer?"  
  
Josh didn't answer right away, he just pushed Ryan away from him. "I told you, its none of your fucking business!"  
  
"Summer IS my business, all right?" Ryan snapped angrily. I was shocked at that comment. Did that mean what I thought it meant?  
  
"What Atwood, is Roberts your girlfriend?" Josh snapped.  
  
"More mine than she is yours," Ryan said angrily, pushing Josh out the door.  
  
"This isn't the last you'll hear from me Atwood." Josh said angrily, before leaving.  
  
As soon as he left, Ryan walked over to me. "Did he hurt you Sum?" he asked, looking me in the eye.  
  
I shook my head. "No. Chino, I'm fine, I really am." Sure it was a lie, but I had relied on him enough lately.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Positive," I said, giving one of those fake, optimistic smiles onto my face.  
  
"If you say so..." he said, "We should go get some lunch."  
  
"Yeah..." I responded. With that, he slipped his hand into mine and a sharp pain to shoot up my arm. Of course, he HAD to notice it.  
  
"Sum, are you sure you're all right?" Ryan asked.  
  
I shook my head, "But it's just my arm, I swear!" He didn't look very convinced. "I'll be fine." I said, reassuringly.  
  
I knew that he didn't believe me, but he let it go. Instead of holding my hand he draped his arm around my shoulders. "Ewww Chino, stop!" I said, moving so that his arm fell to his side.  
  
"Sorry," he said quietly.  
  
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The week passed quickly and I found that writing that stupid thing for Mr. Berman was simpler than I thought. I moved seats, but Josh was still being an ass. It was presentation time, and I really didn't want to present mine.  
  
Luckily, there were volunteers, meaning I didn't have to go until I was called on. But that moment would come, sooner or later.  
  
"Miss Roberts, I do believe you're next," droned Mr. Berman. Well, I knew it was going to happen sometime. I bit my lip and nodded, getting up with my paper.  
  
When I got up to the front of the class, all eyes were on me, and that is a very unnerving feeling. I knew that I didn't want to read it, but I didn't know how much until I got up there.  
  
"We're waiting Miss Roberts."  
  
Shut up! I took a deep breath in before starting, but I wasn't looking at my paper. "A lot of you probably know what happened at the beginning of the summer, and most of you don't care, but I do. If I could go back in time and change one thing, it would have been stopping Seth Cohen from running away."  
  
It surprised me when no tears came to my eyes as I read the paper. I had cried enough tears over Cohen. Too many tears. My voice was smooth as I read it, only cracking once or twice.  
  
"He hated the way that everyone treated him, he hated the fact that no one liked him. He hated the fact that his best friend had left, so he left too. I could have stopped him... and I should have but..."  
  
I was interrupted. "Miss Roberts, you are supposed to read your story, not ramble."  
  
I didn't apologize, truthfully, I didn't care. "I didn't."  
  
My story didn't make any progress, seeing as I was interrupted again. "Would Ryan Atwood and Summer Roberts please report to the office, immediately?"  
  
Crap. This couldn't be good. I looked over at Mr. Berman. "You may go... just expect to finish presenting when you get back."  
  
I nodded and left the room. Leaving my stuff there.  
  
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I met Ryan in the hallway, and he was as confused as I was. We walked together to Dr. Kim's office. If both of us were being called to the office... well I didn't know what was going on. We walked in the office and saw the secretary looking like her depressed self.  
  
"You can go in," she said, pointing to the open door.  
  
We both walked in.  
  
"Ryan, Summer, sit down," said Dr. Kim as we walked in. She didn't seem like herself. It seemed as if there was something wrong. Neither of us sat.  
  
"You're not in trouble, just sit please." Hearing that I wasn't in trouble helped me relax a bit. A bit being the key word. I sat down. As soon as I sat down, so did Ryan.  
  
"Thank you. Now, I've received a call from Mrs. Cohen saying that she wanted both of you home immediately. Now under normal circumstances, I would not allow you to leave, but it sounded urgent. So I will drive you to the Cohen household."  
  
I got scared. Really scared. What was going on? Why were we going home? What happened? All these questions ran through my head. I barely even noticed that Ryan had the same lost look in his eyes that I had.  
  
Then it hit me. Cohen.  
  
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The car ride was silent. Hell, we were in the car with the principal... of course things were going to be quiet. As many times as she tried to initiate conversation, the many more times we ignored her. We being Ryan and I. I was so lost in thought. What was happening? Was there information on Cohen? Had he come back? Was he alright?  
  
We pulled into the Cohen's drive way. "Thank you," said Ryan. I didn't say anything, I couldn't. I knew there was something wrong the moment I saw a Coast Guard car parked in the driveway. I was so lost.  
  
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I walked in the house and got even more confused when I saw an anxious Sandy and Kirsten sitting in the kitchen with some officials from the Coast Guard. My breathing quickened, and I couldn't explain why. I just had that feeling that something bad was happened.  
  
Kirsten got up and hugged me. She hugged me. That wasn't a good sign was it? Did they know something that we didn't? "Please take a seat," said a female official. I swallowed hard before sitting down next to Sandy. Ryan sat next to me.  
  
"Now, I don't know how I can tell you this, but we are calling off the search for your son." My heart skipped a beat. What was going on. I felt this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.  
  
"Why?" asked Kirsten. Maybe they didn't know.  
  
"We found this..." she said nodding to her other counterpart. The male official pulled a piece of what looked like boat siding from under the table. Oh shit, it had my name on it. It couldn't be. It wasn't. No. NO!  
  
I looked over at Kirsten, she looked like she didn't know what to do. Sandy just looked confused.  
  
"And you're telling me that this little piece of boat is the ONLY reason why you called off the search?" Sandy snapped.  
  
"This is the largest piece salvaged," she explained.  
  
"Salvaged?" I asked. "What the hell does that mean?"  
  
This got me a glare from Sandy. I didn't apologize. "We found the boat off the coast of a small town in Mexico. It was in pretty bad shape." The lady took a deep breath in, but Ryan talked before she could continue.  
  
"And Seth?"  
  
"I was getting there," she said, trying to hide how annoyed she was. "There was no sign of your son. We have a feeling that he was..." she paused, as if looking for the proper words. "We believe that your son is dead."  
  
The room was silent.  
  
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**A/n:** Well... I am sad now... really sad... Thanks to my reviewers:  
  
benzbabidoll – I have mega WB on MtM and semi-mega WB on UtE... but I'll update them soon.. hopefully.  
HOTTERTHNU – I don't bash people... I think... ha ha.  
crazy4theoc – That's mean! But thanks. Marissa is an okay character, just not my all time favorite... just the type of person she is bugs me.  
lora – sarcasm Thanks for your wonderfully rm helpful rm review. Just because you don't like RS together doesn't mean that other people don't. I prefer RM to, but this was originally a SS, but it kinda changed when I transferred it from head to paper.  
TragicallyDepressed – Yes, shame on them. Ha ha! Thanks!  
Summer and Seth – Ha ha! That is a possibility... a little later in the story... maybe  
deadserious – I'll let you in on a little hint... wait... nevermind... just remember, not all things are as the seem...  
zarina – thanks!  
Emily – HA HA!!! See, Seth is the best character, then Jimmy... then Julie... ha ha!  
Trevor – Gracias!  
Candy.07 – Sad? Wait this is supposed to be a sad story, I didn't know that. Ha ha... kidding.  
orange-tide - You are EVIL!!! Ha ha! Hey you don't like Summer, I don't like Marissa... funny how we're great friends, ha ha! 


	4. The Return of Seth Cohen

**Title: No One Likes A Depressed Cohen**  
  
**Author**: SethCohenFan  
  
**Rating**: PG-13  
  
**Summary**: Seth leaves, and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving? SUMMER POV   
  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own the OC... Josh Schwartz does.  
  
**A/n:** Ummm... yeah...  
  
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**Part 4:** The Return of Seth Cohen  
  
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It felt as if someone had punched me in my stomach, and then it proceeded to drop to the ground. I didn't know how to react. They thought that Cohen, MY Cohen, was dead. He wasn't. He couldn't be.  
  
"D-d-dead?" chocked Kirsten, being the first person to speak up.  
  
The lady nodded. "Oh God," she cried before breaking down into tears.  
  
"We'll finish searching the surrounding land tomorrow, but the area is uninhabited. Even if Seth is alive, he probably wouldn't survive very long."  
  
I looked over at Ryan, who was coincidentally looking over at me. Was he waiting for me to cry so he could comfort me like Sandy was comforting Kirsten? That wasn't going to happen, seeing as Seth Cohen wasn't actually dead. "So you're just giving up?" I angrily snapped.  
  
"Summer," said Ryan, trying to stop me from getting angry.  
  
"So the boat was like totally wrecked! So he was like no where in sight! That doesn't mean he's dead!" Yeah, I was angry. I had lost it. But they made NO sense.  
  
The lady seemed angry, but said nothing as I got up and yelled some more. "You are just tired of looking, aren't you? You just don't give a shit!!"  
  
I stormed out of the kitchen. People were just such... such assholes. Seth wasn't dead... He was Seth Cohen. He couldn't die.  
  
Something came over me; something subconsciously drove me to walking to the door of Seth's bedroom. Could it have been a sign?  
  
I opened his door and walked in, making sure to lock the door behind me. Some people just didn't think of anyone but themselves.  
  
Looking blankly around the room, I found that it hadn't changed much, if it had changed at all. No. Cohen wasn't dead. I smiled. Of course he wasn't dead. I sat down on his bed. Denial helped, a lot. Some people do say that denial is the greatest coping mechanism. But there was nothing to cope about.  
  
A knock on the door knocked me out of my denial-like thoughts.  
  
I didn't respond to it. I just ignored it. The knock came again. "Sum?" Ryan. Once again, I didn't respond. That was all I needed was Chino to tell me everything was all right. I was doing that fine on my own.  
  
"Summer, I know you're in there... Do you wanna talk?"  
  
Oh God... it hit me like a ton of bricks. Cohen was dead... dead as in no longer living. Dead as in he would never ever come back. He never COULD come back. Dead. How could that one little word cause so much pain and destruction? It was only a word, right? A word. Cohen wasn't dead. He never was dead. He never will be dead. He will grow to be an old man before he would be Dead dead. Dead was just a word. A word, not reality.  
  
Ryan continued rapping. "Summer, everything's gonna be all right, all right?" He just didn't know when to quit, did he? I still refused to respond to him. I just curled up on Cohen's bed.  
  
"Robs," What the hell? Robs? Couldn't he just leave me alone? Didn't he get the picture? I couldn't help but start to cry. Once again, Seth Cohen had broken me down to the point of tears. The voice in the back of my mind got the better of me as I fell asleep.  
  
Cohen was dead, and there was nothing I could do about it. He was dead.  
  
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My eyes fluttered open and I found myself in Cohen's bedroom. I had almost forgotten that I had fallen asleep in his room. Rays of sunlight came from the window. How long had I been asleep? I looked around for Cohen's clock, only to find it nowhere. That was strange. I remember it being there when I fell asleep. Strange.  
  
I got off of Cohen's bed. Something seemed wrong. Something seemed different. Screw up... not the same. I looked around and walked over to the window. That was when I figured that things were really screwed up. REALLY REALLY screwed up. Out of the window, there was nothing but ocean. Waves crashed on the side of the wall. Nothing, but open ocean.  
  
Some water splashed in my face. What the hell? This obviously wasn't the Cohen's house. It couldn't have been. I walked over to the door and tried to open if before I realized that I had locked it before. Quickly, I unlocked it and tried to open it again. It still refused to budge. What kind of strange place was this?  
  
"Ryan!?" I shouted. I was really scared. "CHINO!!!" There was no response. Shit. "MRS. COHEN!!"  
  
Once again, there was no response. I tried to open the door again, and found that it still would not open. I didn't know what to do! I was trapped. Trapped in Seth Cohen's bedroom. The one place that brought back so many memories that it was painful. I really did not want to be there.  
  
I walked back over to the window and looked out of it at the crashing waves. Believe it or not, it was somewhat comforting. But the fact of the matter was that I was trapped... I might as well try to make the best out of things.  
  
My mind began to wander as I completely zoned out. Hell, maybe this was better than being out in the real world. Being in this fake world.  
  
A tap on my shoulder pulled me out of my daze. I quickly turned around and found myself face to face with... no! I couldn't be. He wasn't alive. He was dead. But needless to say, it was Seth Cohen. Seth Cohen was alive.  
  
My eyes widened as I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Oh God, I missed you so much," I cried, resting my head on his chest. He hugged me back, and time seemed to be lost. I still couldn't believe that he was alive. TAKE THAT EVIL BITCH!!! Seth was alive, not dead. HA!  
  
"Cohen, where the hell have you been?" I asked. Everything seemed so real now, so back to normal.  
  
"Around." he answered. I inhaled deeply. That was a great answer.  
  
"Like where?" I asked. He smelled like ocean water.  
  
He repeated himself, "Just around." That didn't help at all.  
  
I stood there for the longest time, just enjoying his embrace. He was back. He was back for good. The thought made me smile. "I missed you Cohen. I missed you more than ever."  
  
He didn't respond. He simply gently pulled me off of him, setting me down on his bed and sitting down next to me. I looked into his hazel eyes. They looked so depressed, so different than they normally were. "What's wrong?" I asked.  
  
"I uh-I have to go," he said, his voice quiet.  
  
"GO!?" I asked. I was shocked! Very shocked. "Go. What do you mean Cohen?"  
  
"I have to go away..."  
  
"But you just came back," I whined.  
  
"I know Summer, it's just that... don't forget about me, all right?" he said. He sounded nothing like his normal self.  
  
"Forget about you? Cohen, that isn't possible. Just please, stay. Don't leave. Please!" He couldn't just leave. He just came. He wouldn't leave. I wouldn't let him.  
  
"I gotta Summer, but I'll come back. Wait for me, all right?" he said.  
  
"When?"  
  
"Sometime, just wait for me..." Before I had a chance to respond, he pulled me into a kiss. I was shocked, sure, but I kissed him back. It was just like the old times, before things got so screwed up.  
  
It seemed like no time passed before he pushed me away. "Summer."  
  
I looked at him. "What?" He got up and lead me over towards the window.  
  
He put his hands over my eyes, causing me to giggle. "Look out there..." he said.  
  
I laughed. I couldn't see a thing. What was he playing at? "I can't see anything Cohen,"  
  
I felt his hands leave my eyes and I looked out across the ocean. "What Cohen?"  
  
There was no response. I turned around, and he was gone.  
  
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That was horrible. One of the most horrible dreams I have ever had in my entire life. Seth was alive, but Seth was dead... but he had to be alive. He just had to be.  
  
I looked around the room and found Ryan sleeping sitting up on the side of the bed. How the hell did he get in? Didn't I like, lock the door? I slipped out. I needed to get out of here. Get away from Newport, get away from the Cohens. Get away from everything.  
  
Slowly, as to not wake up Ryan, I got out of Cohen's bed and left the room.  
  
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If I ever learned one important thing in my life, it was that running away from your problems only made them worse. When I got back to Newport everyone was all worried and shit. And personally, none of it mattered. Maybe it would matter to the old Summer, but that isn't me anymore.  
  
Coop had come back from Florida, and I didn't speak to her. How the hell could I? It was her fault that Seth was supposedly dead. I couldn't bring myself to look at her let alone talk to her.  
  
Anna also came back. Finally some one who wasn't Mrs. Cohen who I could talk to for a little bit. But it wasn't much help, seeing as all Anna wanted to do was cry.  
  
Luke returned too, not that he actually cared about Cohen. He probably came to talk to Marissa or Ryan. I really don't think he gave a shit at all! Why did he even come back?  
  
I spent a lot of time locked in my room. I refused to go back to school. I couldn't. Not yet. Josh was still there, everyone was still there. Just waiting to mock Seth's death. I could hear them mocking it in my head. It was horrible.  
  
"Summer," came Coop's voice from the other end of the door. "Summer, can I talk to you."  
  
"NO!" I shouted loudly, not moving from my bed. I couldn't talk. No.  
  
"Summer, please?"  
  
I didn't respond. I heard indistinct mumbling coming from the other side of the door.  
  
This time it was Chino who talked. "Robs," there he went with that Robs shit again. One thing was for sure, he sucked at making up nicknames. "It's almost time to go."  
  
Go. Go. Go. I wasn't going to go. I couldn't go. I didn't need people fussing over me. Sure Ryan tried to convince me that it was a 'celebration of Seth's life' as he said it. But why celebrate the life of someone who wasn't actually dead.  
  
I still remembered that dream, and even though I am not one to believe in signs, that was definitely a sign. Cohen was still alive, just somewhere, somewhere where we couldn't find him.  
  
"Summer, you are coming right?"  
  
"I'm not going!" I snapped. "I refuse to go."  
  
"Please Sum," came Marissa's voice.  
  
"Go to hell Coop!" I yelled before burying my head in my pillow, blocking any sound from escaping my mouth.  
  
"Summer, Marissa left. Please, you have to come. We all need you," said Ryan.  
  
"Just leave me the fuck alone!" I cursed. I took it that Ryan gave up because I wasn't bugged about it anymore.  
  
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Time passed slowly with nothing to do. I threw things at the wall, I looked through picture albums. I did anything that would help pass the time.  
  
I got a few calls on my cell phone, ranging from Chino or Coop to Luke. Yes, Luke called too. For some strange reason they all like wanted me to come. They didn't understand did they? I couldn't go. It wasn't that it would hurt, well it would hurt, a lot more because I would be surrounded by people who believed the lie. It was just that, there are some things that can not be done. This was one of them.  
  
I knew that I really should have gone, I should have gone. I had to go. Quickly, I pulled my hair back in a loose pony tail before leaving the room.  
  
I hopped in my car and sped off to the grave yard. Chino had told me that they were going to bury an empty casket that had some Seth memorabilia in it. How they could even stand to do that was beyond my comprehension.  
  
The car slowed down as I neared the grave site. It was just depressing. That was what a funeral was, a last goodbye, right? I looked at the freshly dug grave. How could they do it? I shut the car off and got out.  
  
Slowly, I walked over. There were flowers everywhere. Flowers, flowers everywhere. I looked at the stone and tears filled my eyes once again. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they were right.  
  
I bit my lower lip as I read it.  
  
**SETH COHEN   
1987 - 2004**  
  
"Wait for me, all right?" the words from the dream echoed soundlessly in my head.  
  
"I'll wait Cohen, I promise." I whispered. As if he could hear me, but it made me feel good.  
  
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**A/n:** That ends the depressive stuff! I think...  
  
HOTTERTHNU - Look at my screen name... I don't have the heart! Wait, maybe I do... I've killed my fav. character before!  
benzbabidoll - Ha ha!  
deathcab-cutie - Sooner or later.  
liz - Sad? Sand? Wait? I'm confusing myself.  
c - Seth... dead? Really? cries  
Sydney - I personally like SS more then RS... and this is the first RS fic I've written, so I don't really know many other RS shipper fics.. sorry that wasn't much of a help.  
Sewerbubble - I like your review style... random. It was funny! Thanks!  
Me - People, people, people...  
TheOCisMe - Thanks! I like Julie though because she is like Mrs. Uber Bitch... and I like characters that people hate, it is just.. so much fun!!! 


	5. Happiness Amidst Lies

**Title:** No One Likes A Depressed Cohen  
  
**Author:** SethCohenFan  
  
**Rating:** PG-13  
  
**Summary:** Seth leaves, and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving? SUMMER POV  
  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the OC... Josh Schwartz does... as of now that is... MWHAHAHA!! Oh yes... CBS owns Survivor  
  
**A/n:** Ummm... yeah... Sorry about the wait... I've felt like crap for a while... and I can't write when I feel like crap.  
  
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**Part 5:** Happiness Amidst Lies  
  
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Hours turned to days and days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months, and months into years. Before I knew it, five years had passed since Seth Cohen's memorial service. A lot had changed since then. A LOT!  
  
I still had kept my promise to dream-Cohen, at least somewhat. Five years was a very long time and with Marissa gone, Ryan and I had grown awfully close. Close enough to the point that a few months ago, he proposed and I accepted. Yes, I was the soon to be Summer Atwood. But something still did not feel right about it.  
  
Coop and I had made up and were friends again, at least I think so. Of course, she wanted things to go back to the way they were, and that was not possible. But we were friends, and that was all that mattered, right?  
  
Another shocker was that Coop had gotten married, to this strange and creepy guy that she met in Florida. I think he scared everyone, but Coop was happy. At least she was.  
  
I'm not saying that I wasn't happy with Ryan. He was a great guy and all, but needless to say he wasn't Seth. Transference. That was what it was called. That is what Tim (Coop's husband) called it. He was a psychologist. I learned quickly not to like psychologists.  
  
Thursdays officially sucked. Even though Coop had moved back to Newport she was too busy hanging around with Tim to even realize that I existed. Ryan always worked late on a Thursday, meaning that I was left all alone. Alone in this huge house.  
  
I yawned. I hadn't had another dream about Seth since that one that I had right after he 'died'. Sure on the outside it seemed as if the pain had disappeared, but it didn't. It didn't go away, and it never would. The only thing that changed was that I didn't cry as much, but that didn't mean that I didn't cry.  
  
I flipped on the television. I hated Thursdays. "The Valley" used to be on on Thursdays, but they cancelled that show a long time ago. There was nothing to do. Channel surfing, something that I normally would never do. Ever.  
  
The phone rang. I didn't feel like answering it. If it was important, they would leave a message.  
  
It rang again. Now it was just annoying. I picked it up. "Hello?"  
  
There was no answer. "Hello?" Prank callers. One more thing to add to the "Things Summer Can't Stand" list.  
  
Sighing, I got up and went into the kitchen, grabbing some Ben & Jerry's ice cream. That was one way to get through Thursdays. I grabbed a spoon and went back to watching the TV.  
  
There was still nothing on it. I finally settled on watching Hollywood Squares on CBS. Sure it was an extremely stupid show, but it was entertaining none the less.  
  
I sat there, not really paying attention to the TV at all. I got lost in my mind until the doorbell pulled me out of them. I really didn't want to get up. The sofa was so comfortable. "COME IN!" I shouted. If it was some psycho murderer, they wouldn't have bothered to ring the doorbell.  
  
The sound of the door opening reached my ears. I put another spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. Maybe it was Cohen. Yeah, wouldn't that be great. Seth Cohen, returns home after being gone for five FREAKING years. I was beginning to believe that maybe those people were right. That maybe I was being an idiot for believing that Cohen was alive. Maybe he was dead.  
  
Anna walked into the room. What the hell was she doing here? Didn't she live in New York now? What the hell was she doing back in Newport?  
  
"Hey Summer," she said. She hadn't changed one bit.  
  
"Anna," was all that I could say. I continued to look at her. She looked too happy.  
  
"I thought you could use some company," she said, sitting down next to me. I didn't need her company.  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks..."  
  
Anna didn't move. Didn't she know that that meant 'Get the hell out?'  
  
"Summer, you're a mess," she said quietly. What was that supposed to mean? I hadn't realized that I was crying. How can you cry and not realize that it was happening? I brushed the tears away from eyes.  
  
"No I'm not, I'm perfectly fine, all right," I said, not knowing how angry and hateful I sounded.  
  
"No you're not," she said, as if she was trying to be my friend again. "You're a mess."  
  
She was right, wasn't she? I was falling down hill. Suddenly, I had that feeling come over me. That feeling of not being able to breathe. Why did it have to happen now?  
  
I was left gasping for breath. "Summer?" asked Anna urgently. "Summer?" It took me a few moments to catch my breath, but by the time I did, it was too late. Tears were falling.  
  
I hated him. I hated him so much. I hated him, but I loved him at the same time. There is a thin line between love and hate... and I had just crossed it.  
  
"Who do you hate?" asked Anna. Could she read my mind or something? What I didn't realize was that I was saying 'I hate him' out loud.  
  
"Cohen."  
  
I couldn't describe the look on Anna's face. I could tell that she was hiding something, but she said nothing.  
  
Cohen screwed up my life so much, and I had let him. He toyed with my emotions, and I had let him. I had let him do this to me. So it was my fault. Not his. Mine.  
  
The next thing I knew, Anna was hugging me. I didn't want her to hug me. I didn't want anyone to hug me. "Don't hate Seth." Anna said quietly. "You don't think he would like it if he heard that you hated him, do you?"  
  
I pushed Anna away from me and focused my attention on the television. Hollywood Squares was ending. I reached for the remote when something stopped me. I don't know what it was, but I didn't change the channel. I continued watching it.  
  
"Stay tuned for the season premier of Survivor... and this time, we're back in Borneo." I had never watched Survivor before. It wasn't something that I could ever get into, but some of the guys on the show were pretty cute. Maybe I would watch, just one episode... see if there where any cute guys.  
  
"Would you mind changing the channel?" asked Anna. She seemed really uncomfortable. Why?  
  
I shook my head. "I'd rather not." Maybe it was bitchy, but I didn't care. This was MY house, not her's. I could watch whatever the hell I wanted to.  
  
"Please Summer," a tone of pleading was in her voice.  
  
"NO!" I said angrily. "You don't like it... then why don't you get out of my house."  
  
That silenced her.  
  
"Welcome to this season of Survivor, where we will strand these 16 strangers, on this deserted island in Borneo for 39 days." The theme song played and I zoned out. I never liked theme songs that much. They were just filler anyways.  
  
I took another glance at Anna who looked scared. Scared, of a television show. That was a laughable thought. I grabbed the ice cream off of the table and began eating it again.  
  
"Now it is time to meet our castaways. There is Josh, a rocket scientist from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Katy, a journalist from Houston, Texas." The host, whatever his name was, continued going through the names of the castaways and their jobs and where they lived. None of them were any interesting. Like there were no neurosurgeons or anyone cool like that.  
  
"Please Summer, I don't think we should watch this," said Anna, fear and panic in her voice. What was her problem?  
  
"And finally we have Seth Cohen, a New York City taxi driver."  
  
I was paralyzed with shock. Did he just say Seth Cohen. As in SETH COHEN. The camera panned from the host to the man named Seth. Holy shit. It was him. The same hair, the same smile. That was Cohen. It wasn't some imposter.  
  
Cohen was alive. He wasn't dead. ALIVE! I didn't know whether to be happy or angry. I looked over at Anna, who was looking at me. Something told me that she knew that he was alive, and wasn't supposed to say anything.  
  
She got up. "Sorry Summer," was all she said before handing me an envelope and heading to leave.  
  
"Anna, wait." My eyes glanced back at the television where Seth was. Oh God I missed him. I wanted to kill him. He was right there, smiling, looking as if nothing was wrong. Had he forgotten about us? About his family?  
  
Anna turned around. "I should have told you guys..." she said before leaving. So she did know. She knew the whole time, and still lied to us.  
  
Tears stung my eyes, but this time, they were tears of joy, rather than tears of sadness. Seth Cohen was alive.  
  
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**A/n:** HA HA! You guys really thought I had the heart to kill my favorite character? I can't do that... that is evil.. Sorry for the shortness... I had a bit of WB and then with being sick, and I really wanted to get this out. HA HA! Thanks to my reviewers!  
  
skinny5s - No.. it was a memorial service... and I can't kill Seth... I've tried, but I can't... Besides.. there is a back story to Seth's disappearance, but this is from Summer's POV.. not Seths.  
benzbabidoll - EXACTLY!  
TragicallyDepressed - Fine! I'll try...  
Kaylee - ha ha!  
Summer and Seth - I can't kill Seth... it is impossible  
famous99 - Who ever said that Seth was ACTUALLY dead...  
Cena - Yes... I agree... Seth killing is evil... but that doesn't mean that I wont participate in it. Hell, I'm a Slytherin. SLYTHERINS are EVIL!!! Sorry, I'm a Harry Potter freak. 


	6. Leaving On A Jet Plane

Title: No One Likes A Depressed Cohen  
  
Author: SethCohenFan  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Seth leaves, and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving? SUMMER POV  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the OC... Josh Schwartz does... as of now that is... MWHAHAHA!! Oh yes... CBS owns Survivor... and everything else happening in the next few chapters... except the plot.  
  
A/n: Ummm... yeah... Sorry about the wait... I have no excuse other than... OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS SETH/SUMMER... or Ryan/Summer... or Summer/Strange dude she met on the plane... kidding on the last one.. I have had Writers block... horrible crap.  
  
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Part 6: Leaving On A Jet Plane  
  
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I didn't know what to say, how to react. Cohen really was alive. All those years of trying to convince myself that he was alive, almost failing a few times... and I had been right. The mere thought brought a smile to my face. I heard the door slam as Anna left.  
  
Damn it. I should have stopped her. Now I had no chance of getting any answers out of her.  
  
My attention went slowly back to the television, but I couldn't really pay attention to it that much. All those people were wrong. Coop, Chino, Sandy, Kirsten... they all were wrong.  
  
Then the thought hit me. I was engaged to Seth's brother of all people. Ryan was my fiancé. In a few months, he would be my husband.  
  
I looked down at the envelope in my hand. I didn't know if I should open it. If I opened it, maybe some questions would be answered, maybe I wouldn't be so lost and confused.  
  
Looking at the front of the envelope, I saw that it was addressed to Miss Anna Stern. I turned it around to the back and saw that it had already been opened. I pulled out a piece of paper that was folded in to thirds. Unfolding it, I began reading it.  
  
_Miss Stern;  
  
As you know, Seth Cohen was cast as one of the 16 castaways on the CBS Show Survivor. He has made it to the point in the game where a reward is a visit from a loved one. Mr. Cohen has selected you as his top choice.  
  
Enclosed is a round trip first-class ticket to an airport near Borneo. After arriving there you will be briefed on safety and security procedures. Once you sign the papers, you will be put on a helicopter and taken to the island. If you are unable to make it please call our studios, and tell us who will be coming in your place. The ticket will work for anyone, so please do not misplace it.  
  
Thank you,  
  
Mark Burnett_  
  
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I read the note a few times before reaching into the envelope again and pulling out a plane ticket. It was dated for tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM from L.A. International Airport.  
  
Anna had given me a free ticket to see Cohen. To see the person who I had waited for... to hear his voice, a voice that I hadn't heard in five years. I had to go.  
  
But Ryan... what would he say? Would he believe me? Would he think that Seth was alive? Oh God, it was so confusing. Why did Cohen even leave in the first place? If he would have stayed, then Ryan and I would just be friends and things wouldn't be so screwed up.  
  
My eyes glanced from the tickets to the TV and then back to the tickets. I couldn't do it. I couldn't go. I had Ryan now. Ryan not Seth. Seth left me and Ryan stayed. Coop left me and Ryan stayed. And now I had the chance to try to make things go back to the way they were before Seth had left... and I couldn't do it.  
  
More tears formed, but they didn't fall. My mind was like a war zone. My heart told me to go, go and see him, see if he even cared anymore. My mind told me that I had Ryan, and I should be happy with that. But the truth was, ever since Cohen left it was like a part of me had been missing.  
  
The door opened and Ryan walked into the room. He saw that something was up immediately. "Sum, what's wrong?" he asked, walking over and sitting down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.  
  
"It's nothing," I lied quickly. Yes, Cohen being alive was nothing. Smooth move on my part.  
  
"Everything is something." he said looking at the television. "What are you watching?" It seemed as if he was trying to change the subject.  
  
"Survivor," I responded almost silently.  
  
"Survivor? Since when do you watch that?" He sounded as if he was going to laugh.  
  
"Well I just turned it on, ya know. I got like bored."  
  
A smile grew across his face. "Well now that I'm here," he said quietly in my ear, "We don't have to watch it anymore." He went to turn off the television and then suddenly he stopped.  
  
It felt as if my heart had stopped too. "Summer?" he asked me. "Is that..." He stopped.  
  
I looked up at the screen and there was Seth. I didn't know what to say. A small part of me didn't want him to find out. "Cohen?" I finished his sentence for him. "Yes."  
  
He was shocked and silent. It was as if his mind was blank. He looked from the television, which had changed to someone else's face, back to me. The confusion was evident in his eyes. He looked as if he was trying to read me before, "So Seth is alive?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. It felt as if something was stuck in my throat, making it hard for me to speak.  
  
"Well that certainly puts a damper on things," he said, sounding a bit like Seth, before getting up. "I need to think."  
  
"Chino, wait!" I said, getting up and heading after him. It was too late, he had already rushed into his room and literally slammed the door.  
  
"CHINO!" I shouted loudly, pounding on the door, seeing as how he had locked it. "Talk to me Ryan!"  
  
He didn't answer. "Come on Ryan!"  
  
Once again there was no response, and I guess I got the hint. All those years ago that I wanted to be alone, now it was Ryan's turn. Taking a deep breath I walked into my room. Yes, Ryan and I had separate rooms; my dad wouldn't let me move in with Ryan unless we had separate rooms.  
  
I really needed to talk to him, I couldn't go to Borneo, or wherever the hell it was, without making sure that he was all right with it.  
  
Needless to say, I got out a small bag and packed some stuff in it. Ryan seemed as if maybe he thought, no it couldn't be that. Maybe Ryan thought that since Seth was alive that I wouldn't love him anymore.  
  
Maybe he didn't understand that I would never not love him, he was there through the hard times, and that counts for a lot.  
  
I zipped up the bag and walked back out to Ryan's door, knocking on it again.  
  
"Ryan, please can we just talk?"  
  
"I... I don't think so," he said. It sounded as if he was doing something.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I just don't think so," was all he said, before I gave up. I had never really been one to give up, but there was nothing I could do about it at the moment.  
  
"Goodnight Ryan!" I said, walking back towards the sofa. Maybe he would come back out again. Slowly, I fell asleep.  
  
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My eyes opened, and the sun was shining. I must have slept late. CRAP! The plane, I was going to miss it. I looked at the clock and saw that it was only 6:30, meaning I had plenty of time.  
  
I got up quickly and showered, getting ready for the long plane flight out there.  
  
When I was finished, I knocked on Ryan's door. "Ryan, you up? I need to talk to you."  
  
I didn't get a response. He was probably still asleep. I went to open the door, and found that it was unlocked and opened quite easily.  
  
I went in, not caring. "Ryan. Are you awake?"  
  
I looked around the room. It was empty. Well, Ryanless, and some of his clothes weren't where they normally were, but the fact that it was Ryanless was what bothered me the most.  
  
"Ryan?" I asked again, continuing to look around the room. There was still nothing. That was when I spotted it. A note sitting on his bed.  
  
Oh shit, not another note. The last time I had found a note in an empty room it ended with Cohen disappearing for nearly five years. I reached down for it and opened it.  
  
_Summer,  
  
No, I'm not leaving leaving, I was called on a last minute business trip to Louisiana, and I can't let this one go. I'm sorry about leaving just a note, but my plane leaves early this morning.  
  
I wish I could have said bye, but I promise, this time I'll be back by Tuesday.  
  
I'll call you when I arrive.  
  
Xoxo,  
  
Ry_  
  
Well, the last time Ryan left on a business trip, it was two weeks longer than it was supposed to be. I sighed. Now I couldn't tell him about going to see Cohen. I couldn't talk to him about it.  
  
Not knowing what else to do, I gabbed my bag of clothes and left the house and sped off towards the airport.  
  
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I pulled into one of the long term parking lots and grabbed my bag out of the passenger side and rushed into the airport.  
  
Rushing as quickly as I could through airport check in and security, I found myself lost in the airport. I had never liked airports or flying for that matter.  
  
I looked around. Starbucks, Burger King, Airport stores, and signs. At least they had signs.  
  
"Gate 6," I said out loud, looking at the sign with the arrow pointing towards the left. With that, I headed left. I paced myself, seeing as I had plenty of time to get to the gate and still get on the plane.  
  
I was too busy looking around that I ran had first into someone. "Oh my God, I am like soo sorry,"  
  
"Oh no, it is perfectly all right," the man said. I looked up at him.  
  
"Ryan?" I asked.  
  
"Summer? What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, somewhat quickly.  
  
"I should ask you the same question."  
  
"Fine. I have a business trip that I must go on. As I said before, now you."  
  
"I have a short notice, uh, trip to go on. Anna gave me it as a early Chrismukkah gift."  
  
I could tell that Ryan didn't believe me, but it was all that I could come up with. How would he react to me telling him, 'Oh, I'm going to see Cohen who is stranded on some deserted island in the middle of Borneo?'  
  
"And she didn't get me a ticket as well?" he asked.  
  
I let out a small laugh, while trying to buy time. "There was only one seat left, I'm sorry." I said quickly.  
  
He gave me a weird look. He could see right through me, and I knew it. Oh God, I was so dead.  
  
"Fine, Anna gave me these tickets to this place near Borneo and she said that if I went that I could see Cohen, and I mean I really want to go see him, I mean, I liked missed him so much, and maybe, ya know, I could like, get the truth out of him or something and maybe he would come back to Newport, and we could all live happily ever after," I rambled.  
  
His reaction wasn't as all like I expected it to be like. His eyes widened and he simply said, "Oh." He looked at his watch. "Well, my plane is leaving." He quickly kissed me on the lips and turned to leave.  
  
"You be careful now, and expect a long talk about this when I get back."  
  
I rolled my eyes. Things were just great, weren't they.  
  
I heard a call over the PA. "All passengers for flight 154, please come to the gate, your plane is about to depart."  
  
Once again, I looked at the ticket. I guess that would be me. I took one last look at Ryan's retreating back and turned to leave myself. Something seemed wrong, really wrong. Normally Ryan had knowledge in advance to his business trips, why was this one so... so sudden?  
  
My thoughts stopped as I turned and handed my ticket to the man waiting at the walkway. "Thank you ma'am." He said, handing me back my ticket.  
  
Well this was it, there was no turning back. He was leaving and I was leaving. Without another second thought, I stepped into the walkway, prepared to leave.  
  
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A/n: Oh the crappiness of that chapter...  
  
HOTTERTHNU - Tee-hee. Seth/Anna... ummmmm.. no... as for the taxi driver part... I 3 taxi drivers!  
  
Summer and Seth - Ha ha! If I told you that... there would be no story.  
  
deathcab-cutie - Taxi drivers ROCK!!!  
  
benzbabidoll - That is me being a loser.  
  
crazy4theoc - No... the Angry Trucker Hat Man is the truck driver... ha ha!  
  
Emily - AWESOME!!! That is my third obsession... after The OC and Survivor.  
  
TragicallyDepressed - Me, not know what I'm doing? HA! Ummmm... do I ever know what I am doing?  
  
liz - I found a way... for the love of all things Summer/Seth...  
  
Amy - HA HA!!  
  
ryansummer - Of course! Well at the moment it is more triangularish... 


	7. Anticipation

**Title:** No One Likes A Depressed Cohen  
  
**Author:** SethCohenFan  
  
**Rating:** PG-13  
  
**Summary:** Seth leaves, and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving? SUMMER POV  
  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the OC... Josh Schwartz does... as of now that is... MWHAHAHA!! Oh yes... CBS owns Survivor... and everything else happening in the next few chapters... except the plot.

**A/n:** OMG... I am sooo sorry about the wait. But finals came and went and I just stopped writing. I am going to start again now... I am really really sorry. 

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Part 7: Anticipation

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I walked towards my seat, which was graciously first class. I couldn't believe that Ryan was so accepting to the fact that Cohen was not only alive, but that I was going to go and see him. And on some island none the less.

What the hell was Cohen thinking? Living on the other side of the country and then not even telling us that he was alive or anything. I was going to kill him. But I have to get their first.

I sat down in my seat and looked out of the window at all of the other things going on around the airport. I had never really taken the time to look at what happens in an airport. I had gotten so into watching out the window that I hadn't realized that someone had sat down next to me.

I only noticed when he said something. I turned to look at him, a blank look on my face. I just looked at him for a bit. He was about eighteen, maybe twenty. It was a bit hard to tell. He had bright red hair and crystal blue eyes. He wasn't the greatest looking person in the world.

"Hello?" he asked again.

"Oh, sorry," I said quickly.

He smiled. "Don't worry about it. I didn't mean to bother you, I just thought, you know... it's a long flight, maybe we could talk or something."

At first I didn't know how to respond to him. He was very blunt, just asking right out. But there was something about him, or maybe I just wanted to talk to someone very badly.

"No, its all right, I was just like, out of it for a moment," I said, trying to smile.

He laughed. That was how it all started.

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We spent a lot of the rest of the flight just talking. It was a lot of meaningless nonsense, talking about movies, music, and even some politics. Nothing really personal had come up, yet.

I learned that his name was Kevin, he was nineteen and lived in Arizona for his entire life.

Kevin smiled. "So you going to the Survivor thing?" he asked. Had it come to that already?

I nodded.

"Same here," he responded. "My dad is on the show. I'm surprised that he lasted as long as he did. He is so ornery and annoying," he chuckled. "How about you?"

I turned my head to look out the window. I didn't really want to respond to his question, but it wasn't like I really had that much of a choice. "Are you okay?" he asked me.

Nodding, I turned to look back at him. "It is all very confusing. And it'll take a lot of time to explain," I explained.

He looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "Does it look like we're going to go anywhere?" He laughed.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I guess you have a point there," I said, pausing for a second while trying to figure out exactly how to put it. "Well, I guess I should start at the beginning,"

"Good place to start," he interjected, trying to add some humor that seemed to have dried up when he mentioned Survivor.

I smiled weakly. "Well, five years ago a really good friend of mine, hell, my boyfriend ran off and we all thought that he was dead, everyone except for me and stuff. I think that I was the only one thought, well knew that Seth was still... well... still alive?"

The boy's eyes widened slightly. "Wait, you mean Seth Cohen, as in the annoying, sarcastic, can't make him shut up Cohen?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I had only seen a portion of that one episode, but it sounded a lot like the Seth I remembered. I nodded.

"You mean he's actually made it this far? That is just weird..."

It was kind of a relief when he didn't go all 'I'm sorry' on me. Cohen wasn't dead, he was alive, on some stupid island, but alive all the same. I was beginning to get along with this Kevin more and more.

We were both silent for a moment, before he began talking again. "So he just ran off, didn't tell anyone? Sheiz, that must have been hard,"

"Tell me about it," I said, smiling sadly. "And now, I just suddenly find out that he was living with his ex-girlfriend in New York... and it may seem weird, but I never really stopped loving him."

"That is such a tragic love story," Kevin sighed dramatically.

I laughed again. "That isn't the best part..." I held out my left hand, showing him the engagement ring from Ryan. "I'm engaged to his brother."

Kevin's eyes went wide. "That is screwed up, does he know?"

I shrugged. I knew nothing about Cohen, where he had been, what he was doing, hell, I didn't even know if he was the same Seth that had left all those years ago. Knowing my luck, he was a different person, but from the way that Kevin had described him, Seth Cohen hadn't changed a bit. "I haven't talked to him in years. Heck, I was beginning to think that he was dead too,"

"But he isn't. And he didn't tell you that he was alive or anything?"

I shook my head. "I'm beginning to think that maybe he didn't want anyone to know he was alive."

He didn't say anything. We both remained quiet for the remainder of the flight.

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After the plane landed, we got off.

"Uh, do you know where we're supposed to go?" I asked, turning to look at Kevin. The look on his face showed that he was as lost as I was.

Kevin looked around. I could tell that he was looking for something. "Maybe we should go to the person holding up the sign with our names, well my name at least," he said with a small smile, pointing at the man holding the sign reading Kevin Jensen and Anna Stern. "I thought you said your name was Summer."

I chuckled slightly. "It is. There was a slight change of plan, and I came instead of Anna. Once again, too long of a story for me to get into."

Kevin began heading over towards the man. The man didn't speak any English, but he seemed to know who we were and he motioned for us to follow him. I didn't completely trust the man, but I didn't really have much of a choice.

I caught up with Kevin and we followed the man towards a limo. This was it, wasn't it? I knew that the moment I would step into that limo, that I'd be on the way to Seth. My Seth. The Seth Cohen that had 'died' all those years ago.

Without a second thought she got into the limo.

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Kevin and I talked some more on the limo ride, waiting and anticipating seeing our loved ones. Well, I couldn't talk for Kevin, but he seemed to get more and more antsy, and as the ride progressed, my leg started to bounce with impatience. I wanted to see Cohen so badly. I wanted to see him, like I had all those years ago. Face to face.

I wanted to tell him how much pain he caused everyone and ask him why he did it. There were so many things that I wanted, no needed to say to Cohen, that had been building up inside of me.

"Summer, are you all right?" Kevin asked, penetrating into my little world.

"Yeah, fine," I answered quickly. "What were you saying."

"Nevermind."

He just looked at me. We rode the rest of the way in silence.

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When we got there, we joined up with the other people that were there for Survivor who had arrived earlier. We were going to get briefed before going to the island and meeting our loved one.

We all stood there waiting and waiting and waiting. It seemed like we were waiting forever. It was only then that a representative came and ushered us onto a small plane, telling us that everything would be explained later. I was beginning to get annoyed of the word later. I was sick and tired of hearing the word later.

I sat there in silence as everyone else was chatting between themselves. I was fine just sitting there, taking in the sights from the small plane window. My leg began jumping again as we neared the place and the plane began to descend. I was so close to Cohen, it was like I could feel him there with me. It may seem weird, but whatever it was that needed to be done, I'd do it. I needed to see Seth. I really needed to.

The plane landed bumpily and we all walked out of the plane. I stood near the back of the small group, listening to whatever the guy who was talking was saying.

"Okay, now you will have a few seconds to talk to your loved one, before we have to start the game. You will not be allowed to say goodbye or anything if you shall lose, so no pouting if you lose, just leave. Got it?"

Everyone nodded, including myself.

"Good, now I won't tell you what we are doing until we get there, so please get into the vehicle and sit tight. We'll be there in a few minutes."

Once again, everyone piled into the car/vanish thingy. Closer and closer with every turn of the wheel. I felt like pinching myself as if trying to wake me up from this dream that I was obviously having. I was going to see Seth. I hoped that he remembered who I was.

I just sat there, ignoring everyone and everything. My mind was set. I had to see Seth, and for more than just a few seconds.

After what seemed like forever, the car screeched to a stop and the man got out and helped us all out. I saw a bunch of people standing on what looked like a beach. I could spot Seth out of all of them, and tears began to well up in my eyes. It was Seth. Seth! My eyes couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Normally, I wasn't the type of person to get emotional. But I was standing thirty feet from the person who I loved, and still did love. I was standing thirty feet from the supposedly dead Seth Cohen. My heart began to race.

Slowly, one by one, the host called us out. I stood there until I was the last one left. Nervousness was coursing through my body. What if he didn't remember me? Even worse, what if he didn't want to see me, and that was the whole reason as to why he hadn't come home? All of these what ifs. I knew I'd never know if I didn't try.

"Seth, come here," I heard the host say. My heart pounded faster. "I'm sorry to say that Anna couldn't make it to see you," the man paused, and the look on Seth's face looked anything but happy.

"But she did send someone who she knew you'd be excited to see. Seth. It's your long time friend Summer..."

Before I could stop myself, my feet were racing towards Cohen, who had a shocked look on his face. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Why Seth, why?"

I didn't feel him hug me back. He was all tense. "Summer?" he asked.

Tears were now cascading down my face. "Seth. Oh God Seth. I missed you so much."

Seth didn't respond as I hugged him tighter and began to cry.

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A/n: Once again, sorry about the wait. I had major writer's block. But this is a not so evil cliff hanger... I could have made it worse, but decided not to. Hopefully I'll update again... and not three months later...

benzbabidoll – Hmmmmmmm... That is an idea... just kidding.

HOTTERTHNU – There is a reason, I think...

Emily – I can't wait to write it.

Katherine – I love Ryan... but not as much as Seth.. ummmm...

Saxaphonebaby – Awww thanks.

Dddd – I can't promise that at the moment... at the moment.

S – Thanks!

sewerbubble – Random but still dreadfully cool.

Cassie – Thanks!

Maddie – Haha!

Shannon – I'd love to write it in Seth's POV but this is mainly Summer's POV... I don't think I could write it in Seth's.

McLerran – Some!? Some explaining? Hmmmm, maybe I know how to get around this.

Adamismine69 – Seth/Anna? That is wrong. Summer/Ryan is quite interesting, and everything is better than Seth/Marissa. Awwwww... just so you know, it was your review that got me to start writing this story again.


	8. You Can't Handle The Truth!

**Title:** No One Likes A Depressed Cohen  
  
**Author:** SethCohenFan  
  
**Rating:** PG-13  
  
**Summary:** Seth leaves, and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving? SUMMER POV  
  
**Disclaimer:** See previous

**A/n:** I seemed to have lost popularity since I started writing this.. teehee. I just noticed that this leaves three Summer ships open... Summer/Kevin, Summer/Ryan or the bestest ship of them all Seth/Summer... grins evilly

Sorry about the wait... School is evil!

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Part 8: You Can't Handle the Truth!

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I didn't want to let go, ever. It just felt so right. Like everything was back to normal, like everything was the way it was supposed to be. I had almost forgot about Ryan (as if that was possible).

I heard the host, whatever the hell his name was, say something, but I was in too much of a daze to do anything. "Where have you been Cohen?"

Seth looked down at me; he seemed to have gotten (if possible) taller. "Around," he stated simply.

"Like where?" I asked him.

"Just around,"

It was like déjà vu. I couldn't remember for the life of me when I had heard this conversation before, but it seemed so familiar.

"Like where Seth... we all thought..."

But before I could finish what I was saying, I felt myself being pulled away from Seth. The host was trying to say something, but I was still looking deep into the eyes of Cohen. It wasn't the same. The only question was why?

Soon Seth was seated back with the other people and I was standing with the other loved ones, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Now, here is what we are going to do," he looked at the castaways. "You guys are going to sit there, not doing anything."

I continued to look at Seth, he had a lost look in his eyes, as if someone close to him had just died. He looked so helpless, so lost. The host turned to look at us.

"Now, let's see just how much you want to have time with your loved one. You are going to be running this obstacle course. Starting with all six of you, you will down the three grubs. The first three to finish move on."

Grubs? Ewwwwwwww... But was it worth it to talk to Cohen? YES!

"Next, the three will have to swing across the water on the rope, climb up the ladder and retrieve the key. Then running across the beach to the water. The first two to make it, go onto the final level."

Finally, I turned to look at the other ones. The only one that looked like they would give me much competition was Kevin. And I could whoop him if need be.

"Finally, the final two will take the key that they got and swim out to the buoy, dive down and open the locked box beneath the water. Inside of there is a large shell. Take the shell and swim back to the shore. The first one to get here, wins. Understand."

I nodded. I knew exactly what was expected of me, and I needed this more than any of the other people. I NEEDED it!

"Wanna know what you're playing for?"

I nodded, while others said yes. It seemed as if I had lost the ability to speak.

"You will win a private dinner with your loved one at a luxurious hotel. You will spend the night at the hotel, without cameras, just you and your loved one. Is it worth playing for?"

I gulped and nodded, following the other people over to a table where there were six bowls with three grubs each. They were still alive, and the sight of them was just sickening. But it was Cohen. I needed to do this.

"READY... GO!!!"

Without thinking, going completely on instinct I picked up the bowl and downed all three at once, but all three couldn't fit down my throat at once. Two did, and I could feel them wriggling down my throat, while the other one crawled around in my mouth. I tried to keep from gagging.

It was one of the most disgusting things ever. I quickly swallowed the third one. It was even worse when I discovered that it was even worse the second time around. Before it was even a quarter of the way down my throat, fighting its way back up, I opened my mouth.

"AND WE HAVE THREE!!!"

I was the last one. Who were the first two? Before I could look, I felt the bug making its way back up my throat. EWWWWWW!!! Knowing that I was already moving on, I turned around and spit it back up.

Taking a few deep breaths before I stood up, I saw camera men rushing around to get the goodbyes of the loved ones. I just stood there, and watched as three people who I did not know walk away. That means Kevin had made it through, as did this other man.

I was the only girl to move on. I had to spend time with Cohen.

Luckily, they gave me time to compose myself and even gave me as much water as I wanted. They never showed this on TV, and thankfully they did that.

When they were sure that all three of us were ready, they lead us to the obstacle course. The other people followed us to watch, but were kept a distance away from us. I tried to catch Seth's eye but failed. Why wouldn't he look me in the eye?

As soon as we got there, I took one more drink of water as the host retold the rules. As soon as the red lights on the camera were on, we were off.

"READY... GO!!!"

I ran faster than the other two and grabbed onto the rope, swinging over the water with ease. Kevin did as well, but the other guy seemed to be having trouble, and was falling seriously behind.

Quickly, I climbed up the ladder. Kevin was taking it two rungs at a time. I wasn't about to try that, I'd fall and be out of it.

I made it up, but Kevin was already climbing down. Going really fast. It only made me speed up. I got up there and grabbed the key then did the unthinkable. I jumped from the top of the platform and landed on my feet. A shock ran through my body. I was temporarily frozen as the other guy ran past me.

Pain ran through my body as I forced myself to run. Kevin was only a few feet away from me. I ran faster, even though my legs were giving out. I need to get there before him. I saw Cohen standing at the finish line. Meters, yards, feet... passed Kevin...

And I made it there before him. Leg two was over. It was now just me and Kevin. How wonderful was that? I fell over onto the ground, exhausted. Why had I pushed myself that hard?

I took some deep breaths as medical people came and looked at me, but my eyes were locked with Cohen. I saw him run towards me, but he was stopped by security. Maybe he did still give a shit.

I reassured the people that I was fine, as well as Kevin, who also seemed worried. How could I not be okay? I made it to the final round. Now all I had to do was beat Kevin, and I'd win. That wasn't that hard, was it?

I stood up and took a few swigs of water. There was no break this time, just straight into it.

"You sure you're all right?" Kevin asked one more time.

"YES!!!" I said, not meaning to sound so rude, but he was ruining my concentration.

"READY..."

NO!

"GO!!"

I dived into the water, which wasn't very deep and began quickly swimming out. It wasn't easy seeing as the tide was working against me. I was beating Kevin, but how long would that last?

I made it out to the buoy a while before Kevin and with the key in her hand. I dove down to the murky depths below, not being able to see properly under the water, I missed the key hole and had to come back up for air.

When I came back up, there was Kevin, diving down. I had to do this... COHEN! The key gripped tightly in my hand once more, I dove down again, this time getting the key inside the key hole, but running out of air before I could turn it. Damn.

Quickly I pushed off the bottom and gasped for air as I got back up. I spent a second there, making sure that I got an adequate amount of air before diving back down. I turned the key and the trunk popped open, I grabbed the shell and immediately began swimming underwater back towards the finish line.

As I was swimming, I slowly made my way back up to the surface, the shell clenched tightly in my hand. I began swimming above the water. I didn't see Kevin anywhere. This was either a good sign or a bad sign.

I was getting closer. I could see the finish line clearly, and Cohen. It only made me push my already exhausted body harder.

I was going to win. I was going to get to spend time with Cohen. I was gonna kick his ass. How could he do such a thing to us?

But then, out of nowhere Kevin popped up out of the water yards ahead of me. Shit. I pushed myself to the max, but Kevin was beating me by a long run. I made it to a spot where I could walk under the water, and tried to run under the water.

Kevin was going to win. I had to do something. This time the current was once again working against me. Damnit Kevin. I was almost there, so was Kevin.

But, Kevin won, getting there milliseconds before me. Shit. Damn. COHEN.

Not knowing what else to do, I broke down into tears. I screwed up any chance I had of seeing my Cohen again. I looked at him, and he was trying to hide his emotions. God, how could I have been so stupid.

I was still crying. Why shouldn't I cry? Cohen!!! I had blown it. Every chance I had to talk to Cohen and find out what had happened, and I blew it. How could I be such an idiot.

"I'm sorry Summer," the host said, but I tried to ignore him. My eyes were locked on Cohen. Just seeing him was prize enough, but I had been so close. SO CLOSE!!!

The tears just continued to fall. I saw the red light on the camera go out and not knowing what else to do, I just ran over to Cohen and wrapped my arms around him, not caring about the stupid rules anymore.

"Cohen, please, just tell me the truth," I sobbed in his comforting arms. I felt crew members trying to pull me away from him. It only made me hold him closer and tighter. They didn't understand, I needed my Cohen, more than they could ever think.

I felt them pull me away, and I looked into Cohen's eyes. "Please!!!" I pleaded.

Finally he locked eyes with me, but said nothing. The crew members were pulling me further and further away. Damn it Cohen, just answer!

"You can't handle the truth Summer!" he shouted loudly as he disappeared from my sight.

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mikelucas1 – I'm glad that you found this story. :D Something good? Does anything good ever happen?

Ttcarter - grins evilly I think I have plotish.

Kursk – Marissa is out of the picture until the wedding... yeah.

Ocobsessed78 – Thanks

TragicallyDepressed – Cliffhangers are my best friendish.

Jor23dann – SS... Summereth... greatest ship in the world... besides Summeran..

Jg6 – sorry for the wait

HOTTERTHNU – Kevin's a random... for now... maybe not...


	9. Says Who?

**Title:** No One Likes A Depressed Cohen  
  
**Author:** SethCohenFan  
  
**Rating:** PG-13  
  
**Summary:** Seth leaves, and Summer figures it out. How does she react to his leaving? SUMMER POV  
  
**Disclaimer:** See previous

**A/n:** Once again, school has taken over our life... sorry about the wait, but school comes before writing, no matter how much I want it to be the opposite. Where did all my reviewers go anyways? It is kinda saddening. The numbers keep dwindling. If you're out there please review... whether good or bad!

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Part 9: Says Who?

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Cohen's words blared loudly in my head as I was seated by the rest of the people who hadn't won. They were crying, but not as hard as me, not for the same reasons as me. They had no idea!

"_You can't handle the truth Summer!"_

What the hell was that supposed to mean? He was hiding something and now I knew I was never going to find out what exactly it was that he was hiding. Sure I knew he lived in NYC, but NYC was a big ass city, and there were probably so many Seth Cohens!

I began sobbing again. I had come all this way, all this way for nothing. Well, maybe not nothing, I got to hold Cohen again, and I somewhat got to talk to him.

"_You can't handle the truth Summer!"_

I can't handle the truth? I went though him 'dying', then finding out that he had lied to all of us and he went on national television. Doesn't he get how hard it was for us when he just disappeared, when we all thought he had died?

I came all this way, all this way to wherever the hell this little piece of shit island was, just to see him, and he couldn't appreciate it. It seemed as if someone else was having problems handling the truth. Him.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. Since when had he become such a jerk, so uncaring? So it was true, he turned out just like all my other boyfriends before him. Another sob racked my body, but I kept the tears from falling. I must have looked so horribly pathetic.

I was torn. I loved him yet hated him at the same time. How could he have changed so much? He never was a jerk before. He was so... aggravating!!

That was when I decided that I hated him. If he didn't appreciate me believing he was alive when everyone else thought he was dead, then fine. Screw him. I was too good for him anyways.

"_You can't handle the truth Summer!"_

But what had happened to him? Why wouldn't he tell me? Why didn't he think I could handle it? I wasn't a wuss. I wasn't a baby. I was Summer Roberts.

He was Seth Cohen. I was the one who everyone seemed to think he would be with forever, until he screwed it up and ran away. Stupid ass.

He couldn't trust me. He couldn't appreciate me. He didn't deserve those tears that I cried for him. He didn't deserve the fact that I gave up my old life for him! He was a jerk. He was a jerk, and I hated him.

I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around to find myself face to face with the one woman. I wouldn't be able to tell you her name, or anything about her. Except that one of her loved ones was on the island with Cohen. My Cohen. _My Cohen?_ Did I just think MY Cohen? I hated Cohen.

She offered me a tissue. A tissue? What was the tissue for? She must have read my expression. "Your face is all wet with tears hunh," she said, before preceding to wipe my face.

Had I been crying? Why was I crying!? Cohen didn't deserve my tears, and yet I shed them so easily for him.

"Thank you," I said, although it didn't come out as I hoped it would come out. It was just choked out. I was getting myself worked up about Cohen again. He didn't deserve it.

The woman sat down next to me and put her arm around me. It reminded me of what Mrs. Cohen would do, in those hard few weeks after Seth disappeared. Even though I didn't know this woman, it was still in some ways comforting.

I didn't say anything, dwelling on thoughts. She didn't say anything either. It was silent for some time. I didn't like the silence.

She broke the silence. "That's a beautiful diamond," she said. I smiled slightly. How could I have forgotten about Chino? Chino; the one who was there when Cohen abandoned us all. Chino; the one who proposed to me a little over a year ago. The Chino who I 'loved.'

The only issue was. I still had feelings for the now un-dead Cohen.

"Thanks," I said simply.

"Did Seth give it to you," she asked. My eyes opened wide. Tears began to reform in my eyes.

"_You can't handle the truth Summer!"_

Why did she have to be the kind of person who paid attention to everything? I shook my head.

"Come on dearie, don't cry." I began sobbing again. Once again, Cohen had me in tears. Chino didn't make me cry. Never.

I didn't respond. "It is a beautiful diamond though," she said, trying to cheer me up. "Whoever gave it to you must really love you."

I smiled, for the first time since losing the competition. Chino did really love me didn't he? He loved me, and I sat here, sobbing my eyes out over Cohen. The Cohen who didn't deserve me! The Cohen that could care less whether I was alive or dead! The Cohen that left his good life in Newport, and never came back. The Cohen that I hated.

"Yeah, he does," I said smiling. I should have never come in the first place. I had a good life not knowing if Cohen was alive or dead. A good life with Chino.

"And..." she asked, now acting like such a teenager. It was sorta kinda comforting in a way.

"And?" I asked.

"You love him, is he cute, is he sweet?"

I chuckled slightly, "He is sweet, and he is cute..."

"Yes..."

I didn't know what to say. Why couldn't I just say that I loved Chino? Could it be that I still did love Cohen? But how could I love Chino and Cohen at the same time? I felt the tears resurfacing. No! I would not cry over Cohen anymore. No crying. I had cried enough.

"Well?"

"I don't know?"

"Well, he must really love you, and if you don't love him like he loves you, then it is just pointless for you to be wearing that ring on your finger, now isn't it?"

I took in what she had said. She was right. I looked down at the ring, and just stared at it for a bit. It reminded me so much of Chino. But I couldn't stop thinking about Cohen. Chino... Cohen... Chino... Cohen...

I just sat there, staring at it. Maybe I did love Cohen more than I loved Chino. There was only room in my heart to really love one person, but was that person Chino... or Cohen.

Or maybe I just hated them both? Chino never made me cry, he only was ever perfect, but for some reason, I had a bad feeling about all the times that he spent too much time away from home. All the business trips I went on?

Now Cohen had me questioning Chino (the only one who could actually get through to me after Seth's 'death'. Could things possibly get any worse? I was torn between Cohen and Chino, Seth and Ryan, jerk and not jerk. WHY WAS IT ALWAYS THAT THE JERKS ARE SO ATTRACTIVE!?

Before I could stop myself I pulled the engagement ring off of my finger and held it up to my face. Chino used to love Coop, my best friend. I used to (and possibly still do) love Cohen, Chino's best friend and brother. That is really screwed up.

I put the ring back on my finger. Maybe this did mean I loved Chino more. Yes. I did. I would go home, and forget about Cohen. Go back to the way that things were before I knew Cohen was alive, and jerky as ever.

Why was I sitting here anyways? I didn't have to stay here!!

STUPID COHEN!!! He was controlling me, and he was still nowhere near me.

I stayed there.

That was when a familiar red head walked in. Kevin. Kevin walked in, followed by the host guy and the one producer. Everyone was looking at them, many of them with pure hatred and/or jealously.

They were all walking over to me. Something inside of me told me to stand up, so I did.

The first thing that happened was Kevin hugged me. I didn't hug him back, I don't know why. I probably just had so much on my mind.

The producer guy, Mark I think, spoke up first. "Miss..."

"Roberts." I answered simply.

"Yes, Miss Roberts. Well, the easiest way to put this is to get your things together. You are going to be spending the night with Mr. Cohen."

Wait, did I just hear him say what I thought I heard him say? I was going to spend time with Cohen. My Cohen! The Cohen that I loved and hated, all at the same time.

"How?" I asked, losing the ability to speak more than one word at a time.

"Well, we decided to make it so that two people would get to spend time with their loved one, seeing as everyone worked so hard to see their loved one."

"_You can't handle the truth Summer!"_

I looked over at Kevin, who had a big smile on his face.

"We'll be driving you and Mr. Lanaman to the hotel where you shall be meeting Mr. Cohen and Mr. Lanaman Sr."

Not knowing what else to do I nodded.

What ever happened to me forgetting about Cohen and just going home to Newport, and spending the rest of my life with Chino?

I followed them.

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WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE!!!

"I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition." Reg said to Lady Mountback.

Suddenly, a whole bunch of figures, dressed all in red, rush in through the door. It is Cardinal Ximinez, and two of junior cardinals.

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" He shouted, "Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our _three_ weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our _four_...no... _amongst_ our weapons.... amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again."

The three men in red ran out of the door and.

"I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!"

The three Spaniards run in again. Ximinez tries again.

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - oh damn!" He turned to look at the one junior cardinal. "I can't say it, you'll have to say it!"

The man looks at him. "What?"

"You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are...'" he said.

"I couldn't do that!" said that junior cardinal.

Ximinez gathered them all together and the exited once more

**((A/n: The people who typed this have been sacked, and shall no longer be typing Monty Python scripts in the middle of MY OC Story! Thank you for not going crazy. It won't happen again!**

**I now return you to the scene that you were left in.))**

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The limo ride was silent. I didn't know what was going on.

"You're welcome," Kevin said randomly.

"What?"

"They let me pick who got to spend time with their loved one, and I picked you."

I didn't know what to say. I was happy. I would get to spend time with Cohen again. But it totally screwed my plan of FORGETTING about Cohen. Why was life like on big episode of the Valley?

"Thanks?" I said, not quite sure of what I was thanking him for.

I was silent for the rest of the ride. So was Kevin. It was weird. Cohen... Chino... Cohen... Chino...

Finally we got there. A nice man opened the door for me. "Thank you," I said sweetly, smiling that fake smile, before walking down the walkway.

I continued walking before I was stopped by the host. He pulled me to the side as Kevin passed me on the walkway.

"Okay, here is what is going to happen. Seth just thinks that he is going to spend time with Kevin and his dad. The truth is, he is going to get to spend the time with you instead. We are going to surprise him with it. Are you all right with that?

I nodded. "Good," he said. "Now just wait outside this door, until you receive the word.

I nodded once again. Then I was left alone, well, not alone. One of the crew members was there, but he didn't talk. I was left alone with my thoughts.

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I stood there for what seemed like the longest time. That was when the crew member pushed me towards the door. Why was I getting butterflies in my stomach? Why was I getting so nervous? I didn't love Cohen any more. I loved Chino, right? RIGHT!?

The door opened. It must have been the back door to some kind of restaurant, because when I walked in, that was what it was. A big fancy restaurant. I spotted a bunch of cameras around one table, set for four. Three people were sitting there. Cohen was looking right at me.

I was looking right at Cohen. He looked shocked. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I was going to find out what was happened to Cohen. I was going to figure out where the hell he disappeared to and why he didn't tell us where he had been.

I wouldn't cry. No. Not here, not now. Not ever. No more Cohen tears. NO MORE!

"_You can't handle the truth Summer!"_

I walked over to him, not being able to stop myself. He stood up and just stood there.

"_You can't handle the truth Summer!"_

I didn't know whether to kick him, or hug him. Whether to curse at him, or confess my undying love for him. Well, maybe not undying love, but you catch my drift.

I stood there, just looking into his eyes. I think he was looking into my eyes too.

"_You can't handle the truth Summer!"_

"Says who?" I asked, before wrapping my arms around him. This time, I wouldn't let go.

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mikelucas1 – sorry about the wait

girlsjustwannahavfun – plot is plot

Jor23dann – Kevin isn't a bad guy.. why do you all make him seem like the bad guy that he isn't?

KirstyKane4eva(Robbie's h – I'm a Summereth fan as well... why do you think Ryan is never anywhere to be found.

Sharon – writing?


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